SGLY: Eternally grateful
Even the softest fields cannot tame racing thoughts. Worry, anxiety, stress, and fear know few manners, trampling the mind with destructive arrogance. We can distract ourselves with comforts and causes, family and friends, activities and agendas, but restless thoughts are ever clever, jealous, and cunning: they patiently wait for our attention to return to them and make us question if the uneasiness they cause will become our new normal. For many, a lack of tranquility and feeling disquieted is common. No wonder so many people are exhausted. Perhaps you are one.
As I went about my day, it did not take me long to realize I was living distracted. I was polite and productive, yet I felt an underlying imbalance. No one would notice, but I knew something was agitating my peace. I feared my “something” was a culmination of many things – thoughts left to run wild within my mind. I decided it was time to sit with my thoughts and teach them some manners. I was spending too much time with my worries and not enough time in the Word.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28.
I began to pray. My prayer was as disjointed as I felt. I realized my focus and strength were thinned more than I wanted to admit. I knew I needed rest beyond whatever I could do or not do for myself. I needed the rest that only God could provide.
So, I did what comes naturally for me when I need to sort things out: I poured myself into a series of inked words. I wrote without hesitation. The words escaped from mind to pen like criminals stealing the page. Only when I was finished did I feel myself breathe. Before me was proof of what my mind was grappling with, and I felt a twinge of sadness that I had contorted myself with stress and thoughts that held such power, and so little of it positive. But there was something more.
I wanted to believe so badly that everything would work out okay that I began to fear that it may not. In doing so, a shift occurred. I started fretting more and living in faith less. The page before me was laden with proof of what had the loudest voice in my head: Fear. Seeing my thoughts separated by sentences, I saw them for what they were: Chains.
I flipped the page over and wrote on the back of my fears This was done as a literal example of conceptual awakening. I wrote to the antidote: Christ. From time to time, I could see fears from the other side bleed through. I took special care to make sure my prayer to Christ was bolder. After all, it takes boldness to surrender — to be truly free. It takes sitting with your fears and replacing them one by one with God’s truths.
This is what I wrote on the back of my fears – simple and raw. Maybe you will find comfort in this prayer as well, so I share my vulnerability with you. After all, we are stronger when we join together in Christ’s name.
I want to listen to You, Lord. Let me hear Your voice above all.
Pour Your strength into my dry bones and restore the marrow of my song.
May I sing freely of Your goodness.
Renew the vitality of my steps. Keep me following You.
When my understanding lacks, my mind and body tires, and my faith wanes, strengthen my obedience and hold me extra tight in Your love.
Give me eyes to see You in all my days and a heart that longs for Your company.
When You search me, Lord, may Your hand rest gently upon what has bruised my witness, forgiving me of my sins. May Your grace be a healing balm. Teach me to forgive myself and others as You have forgiven me.
Please take my fears and crush them to dust with Your promises.
When uncertainty creeps in, bring Your Word to my mind as a sweeper to keep my thoughts uncluttered and my focus upon the truth: YOUR truth.
Lord, take hold of me. All of me. Shield me and guide me. I am Yours.
May my life be a light that shines upon You.
Thank You for saving me, accepting me, and loving me (scars and all). I am grateful.
In Jesus’ name, I praise. Amen.
SGLY, dear reader.
(Smile, God Loves You.)
Tiffany Kaye Chartier is a Christian author and opinion columnist. Submit feedback and connect for more soul lifts on Facebook: Tiffany Kaye Chartier; Instagram:@tiffanysgly; and Twitter: @tiffanychartier. The views and opinions expressed here are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect those of Texoma Marketing and Media Group.