I can't wait to see Trump's next move in his game of "3-D chess"!
You see, it only looks like Trump is The Worst Negotiator God Ever Created. Instead of telling Democrats, "I won't even talk about DACA until we have the border wall," Trump has repeatedly given up the wall, aka The Central Promise of His Campaign, Without Which He Would Not Be in the White House.
He has now signed a spending bill that, if it actually did what it claims to do, prohibits him from building the wall, hiring any new ICE agents capable of making arrests, and building any new detention facilities for illegal aliens.
The strange thing is, as commander in chief, he doesn't need congressional authority to do any of these things. But he obviously doesn't know that.
Why? BECAUSE HE'S PLAYING 3-D CHESS!
Instead of making even a fake effort and forcing Democrats to get up off the couch to vote against the wall, Trump cleverly leapt to the front of the anti-Trump parade and pretended it was all his idea.
Trump's main response to a bill that actively prohibits him from keeping his central campaign promise was to denounce Congress for not sending him a bill legalizing "Dreamers." Which also breaks a campaign promise.
Carefully observe the master. He gives up everything, and - in exchange - gets NOTHING. See?
The easy thing to do would be to say there's no way any amnesty happens until the wall is complete. Anybody could do that. But we didn't elect just anybody.
We elected the guy whose name is on the cover of "The Art of the Deal." Sure, he didn't write it - and probably didn't read it - but Trump must have heard about some of the trite advice it contains. Now he can put out a paperback edition with a new chapter, How to Give Up Everything in Return for Nothing.
The expression "dance with the one who brung you" is old paradigm thinking. This is Trump Thinking.
The Republican Brain Trust sneered at Trump throughout the 2016 campaign, certain that they were in no danger from this ridiculous creature. And damned if he didn't win.
After that, Trump could have summoned Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan to the Oval Office and demanded that they show him their testicles. Instead, he became their water boy.
You think Trump doesn't know exactly what he's doing? That's another new chapter for "The Art of the Deal"! (Ignore People Whose Advice Has Been Good; Hire People Whose Advice Has Been Catastrophic.)
Following the McConnell/Ryan playbook, Trump cut taxes (which is vitally important to Americans who don't have jobs and whose communities are overrun with heroin) and expanded the bloated, wasteful defense budget. (The permanent-war wing of the GOP loves him now!)
Thanks to Trump's 3-D chess, he might well be in line for an endorsement not only from Boeing, but also from the powerhouse Bush family.
When a Republican House and Republican Senate deliver a spending bill to Trump that prevents him from putting so much as a rickety fence on more than 33 miles of the border, I think it's safe to say that not only do congressional Republicans not fear Trump, they're laughing at him.
Just hang on to your hats, because while you're all playing checkers, Trump is playing 3-D chess.
(NOTE: If I am wrong and President Trump ever builds the wall, I will apologize profusely, return to calling him "the Emperor God" and throw a fabulous party at the grand opening of the completed wall.)
Ann Coulter writes a column for Andrews McMeel Syndication.